NEMESIS ( HOME )( KAREN'S THUMBNAILS )( LINKS )

I hope you will read this story to see why I call this my NEMESIS.

Any comments ? Email them to ( outofnk@mts.net ) We'd like to hear from you, THANKS.

Before you see this part of my ( our ) website I would like to explain a little about what you will be viewing
and that it was instrumental in my decision to drop my work for some 20 odd years. I know this is asking
a lot but please read this explanation first. I didn't put this here to get sympathy, or to lay blame,I just
think that it's an interesting little story,and I still think that the work is good work.
In late seventy seven to mid seventy eight I was working on an image of a character that I thought would
fit an idea for a theme on being careful of ( what you wish for, you may just get it ).
This theme revolved around what people call the perfect love or lover. I would hear people talking about
what or who they thought would make a perfect lover,and what they would give or do for such a treasure.
So anyway I was doing a lot of sketches and after many months and yards of paper I came up with the image
that you are about to see. While I was fine tuning my character for a finished painting,a friend of mine was
trying to get me to take a break and go with him to see a movie that he was ranting on about. During the
same time every once in a while I would see an ad on tv that had a strange looking egg on the screen
and the narrator would say that ( "no body can hear you scream in space" ). I never watched it long enough
to see the title come on to the screen so I didn't know what the movie was called. But there was something
about what the narrator said though that started to appeal to me. I started to think of all the inner screams of
rage,hate,frustration and want that are never heard between lovers. That deep inner space where all our darkest
secret thoughts rage in silence. So because of this " lest we be judged attitude" we never let any one close
enough to hear the torment. We don't want anyone close enough to know all of our dirty little thoughts
or secrets now, do we? But this ( new order ) love not only can get close enough to hear every thought
it knows just what you are keeping secret. This perfect love or lover can not help itself. By it's very nature
and for it's own survival it must consume you and you must become it. I think that you must be able to see love
as the predator before you'll be able to live with yourself let alone being able to live with it's or your next victim.
After all most people say that they are willing to die for love and its preservation and a lot of victims have already
given their lives to it in one way or another.
Anyway back to the reason for this story in the first place,you remember,that something that stopped me from
wanting to work. All the while my friend was after me to go with him and see this movie. After a couple of weeks
I gave in and went to see the movie with him. After seeing it,I went home,got drunk,and started to destroy all
the work that I had done on this theme. My girl friend at the time managed to save and hide a couple of large
sketches that because of my drunkedness I didn't get to.
Anyway I quit working for some twenty odd years up until late 1995 early 96 when I was coaxed
by my wife ( who is also an artist ) to take a computer course. We were looking through some old sketches and
photos of my old work that I could use for the show and tell interview that the course required,and that is
when we decided to add this area to the website. With out her encouragement and understanding I don't think
I would have come as far as I have,with tying to restart a very old career. Now after learning as much as I was able
to at the time about doing work on the computer, I feel that I'am back to doing what I should never have given up in
the first place. As for the title of the movie that stopped the work,I'm sure that once you see the images you'll know the title.
I don't know why it got to me so bad,but it did. I have put in five details of one of the two images that are left regarding
the perfect love or lover theme that I think best illustrates the reason for my quitting twenty odd years ago.
The other sketch that I have left might end up here if I ever feel the need. I hope that you the viewer will overlook this
little run off at the mouth and enjoy viewing My NEMESIS !. It is important to me that people understand that I didn't rip anyone off
to get the idea or image for the perfect love or lover theme. For me it was and always will be,a matter of lost integrity.

( THANKS for listening )
New work will be added to the site from time to time,so keep eyeballing the place.
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